Motherhood: Challenges, Love, and Female Freedom on Donas da Voz
Between exhaustion and empowerment, discover how motherhood redefines womanhood through the perspectives of Thais Rosa and Livia Matos.
The "Inspira & Ação" episode of Donas da Voz tackles motherhood without filters. Thais Rosa and Livia Matos discuss everything from physical and emotional exhaustion to social pressure and the freedom to choose not to have children. It's a frank conversation about identity, dreams, and the diverse paths of women, inspiring them to own their voices.
In the "Inspira & Ação" videocast on Donas da Voz, hosts Thais Rosa and Livia Matos open up about one of the most complex topics in women's lives: motherhood. With honesty and without filters, they share their experiences—one as a mother of two, the other as a childfree woman—discussing the challenges, joys, and social pressures that permeate this journey.
Real Motherhood: Between Exhaustion and Unconditional Love
Thais Rosa, mother of Joaquim and Helena, describes motherhood as "f***ing exhaustion", a process where it's easy to "lose yourself". She confesses the shock of reality upon encountering sleep deprivation, difficulties with breastfeeding, and the feeling that her former life was ending. "I didn't even close a chapter; I had to close the book," she reveals.
The idealized discourse of motherhood on social media is a critical point of the conversation. Both agree that the internet often presents a fictionalized version, far removed from the reality of struggles like not having time for a decent shower or eating a fresh meal. A family support network, like that of her mother and her obstetrician Dr. Eduardo da Mota, was crucial for Thais in dealing with judgment and finding her own path as a mother, prioritizing her and her children's well-being, even if it meant not breastfeeding.
Motherhood by Choice: Freedom and Other Forms of Love
Livia Matos brings the perspective of a woman who chose not to have biological children. She considers herself a mother to her four nephews, her goddaughter in Africa, and her two pets, demonstrating that motherhood is an energy that manifests in various forms. Livia highlights the time, financial, and emotional freedom this choice provides, allowing her to focus on her professional purpose and travel, which she loves so much. "If I had human children, perhaps I wouldn't have focused on my purpose, which is the podcast," she reflects.
Social Pressure and Judgment
From childhood, women are encouraged to dream of marriage and children. Society imposes a "protocol" and "standards" that lead many to make decisions inconsistent with their true desires. Livia recounts the constant judgment faced by childfree women, in contrast to mothers who, even when exhausted or not being "perfect," are not questioned as much. She even recalls a painful experience where her "market value" was diminished for having children when she was called "baggage" by a man in a relationship.
2022 IBGE data shows that 30% of women aged 30 to 40 in São Paulo do not have children, highlighting a trend of focusing on career and financial independence. For Livia, this choice is conscious and completely fulfilling.
Challenges in Marriage and the Stepmother's "Motherhood"
The arrival of children can drastically impact a marriage, leading to a high rate of postpartum divorces. The woman, with her body transformed and no time for herself, sees her relationship with her partner take a back seat. "Self-prioritization no longer exists," Thais states. She shows vulnerability in recounting the desire to "disappear" amidst the exhausting routine and how men can feel sidelined from their leading role, leading to conflicts.
Thais also addresses the stepmother's motherhood, an "extremely confusing" experience. She questions how to exercise responsibility and care for stepchildren without being able to correct or educate them according to one's own values, a challenge that requires sensitivity and dialogue.
Autonomy and Empowerment: Own Your Voice
The final advice for young women is powerful: "freeze your eggs" as a way to ensure freedom of choice, not to succumb to the pressure of the biological clock. "That freedom is priceless," Thais says. She emphasizes the importance of not caring about others' judgment and freeing oneself from social expectations.
"Being a good mother isn't about doing it all; it's not empowerment, it's exhaustion with a pretty name," Thais reflects. She emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and asking for help, recognizing that perfection doesn't exist. Livia adds that having children is no guarantee of care in old age; what truly ensures it is "money in the bank account."
This episode of Donas da Voz is a reminder that the female journey is unique, and every woman has the right to own her voice, making choices that fulfill her and make her happy, whether in traditional motherhood, other forms of care, or a life without biological children. The important thing is to live with authenticity, respect, and freedom.